I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
