when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize