Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Do you have feelings for this penis?
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
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