He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
