And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
