I just made out with a guy for $7.
Moan for me like Helen Keller
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
