I can tuck mytits in my pants
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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