Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
