we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
