sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I want her autograph on my taint
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
