At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
