how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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