But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
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did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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