Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Randomize
