I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
