Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
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