how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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