People in love make me want to vomit
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize