sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
