dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Randomize
