i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
The struggles of a small town man whore
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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