you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
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