So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize
