i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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