Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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