I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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