is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
