brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
