My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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