I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
