im drinking this country out of the recession.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
my being single is dangerous.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
