return my video game
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
