WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
