i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
