i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
