Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
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Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
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The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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