I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
So many bounce houses so little time
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I need a beard to bite.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Randomize
