But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
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