I hate your face
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
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