Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
