You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Randomize
