my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
