Who did Billy Mays play for?
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
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