New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
i want to swaddle you in tequila
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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