did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Randomize