I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
