I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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