she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize
