he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
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I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
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