thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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