i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
