Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
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