Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize
