dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
where are my eyebrows?
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
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