I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
