Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I just gift wrapped bread.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
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