My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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