Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
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