I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize
