She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
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