Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
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