if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
I have post one night stand depression
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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