It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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