I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Randomize
