If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
