We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
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I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
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I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.