Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

Favorite
(719): View more from Colorado

new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(719): new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge http://tfl.nu/dui0

Replies (13) Good night (3200) Bad night (873)
Favorite
(812): View more from Indiana

She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(812): She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used. http://tfl.nu/jpfz

Replies (55) Good night (13502) Bad night (1108)
Favorite
(908): View more from New Jersey

I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(908): I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep http://tfl.nu/s4hd

Replies (41) Good night (1370) Bad night (4048)
Favorite
(818): View more from California

Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(818): Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is" http://tfl.nu/fthj

Replies (43) Good night (7542) Bad night (2013)
Favorite
(678): View more from Georgia

stop calling my apartment porn island.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(678): stop calling my apartment porn island. http://tfl.nu/7ji0

Replies (15) Good night (5033) Bad night (810)
Favorite
(306): View more from Saskatchewan

Operation Purity has been aborted

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(306): Operation Purity has been aborted http://tfl.nu/jf4h

Replies (24) Good night (6629) Bad night (1393)
Favorite
(513): View more from Ohio

I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(513): I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this. http://tfl.nu/ok35

Replies (20) Good night (6558) Bad night (1374)
Favorite
(425): View more from Washington

This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(425): This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it? http://tfl.nu/qkoi

Replies (2) Good night (2230) Bad night (854)
Favorite
(646): View more from New York

I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(646): I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me.. http://tfl.nu/zo74

Replies (9) Good night (851) Bad night (1411)
Favorite
(602): View more from Arizona

I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(602): I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth http://tfl.nu/7hav

Replies (5) Good night (1457) Bad night (570)
Favorite
(314): View more from Missouri

I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(314): I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that. http://tfl.nu/dkkg

Replies (3) Good night (760) Bad night (390)
Favorite
(864): View more from South Carolina

Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(864): Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah http://tfl.nu/n16g

Replies (2) Good night (854) Bad night (336)
Favorite
(616): View more from Michigan

2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.

(616): View more from Michigan

2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(616): 2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll. (616): 2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll. http://tfl.nu/3aiz

Replies (6) Good night (1193) Bad night (484)
Favorite
(608): View more from Wisconsin

I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(608): I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation. http://tfl.nu/elh6

Replies (0) Good night (645) Bad night (315)
Favorite
(424): View more from California

I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(424): I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn http://tfl.nu/bfkb

Replies (3) Good night (464) Bad night (260)

Randomize

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Find Us On: