Texts From Last Night

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  (318): View more from Louisiana

  omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!

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  (318): omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!! http://tfl.nu/wtbk
  Replies (14) Good night (1178) Bad night (1533)
• Favorite

  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  I skipped work to stalk him.

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  (414): I skipped work to stalk him. http://tfl.nu/vhpg
  Replies (17) Good night (850) Bad night (3340)
• Favorite

  (785): View more from Kansas

  Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.

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  (785): Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend. http://tfl.nu/tpw6
  Replies (26) Good night (714) Bad night (5551)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?

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  (815): He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing? http://tfl.nu/c8yk
  Replies (36) Good night (6186) Bad night (1409)
• Favorite

  (253): View more from Washington

  The pine trees are waving at me.

  (907): View more from Alaska

  Put the pipe down honey.

  (253): View more from Washington

  Hi trees.

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  (253): The pine trees are waving at me. (907): Put the pipe down honey. (253): Hi trees. http://tfl.nu/6b23
  Replies (17) Good night (8187) Bad night (1734)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?

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  (603): sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall? http://tfl.nu/ejbk
  Replies (8) Good night (2111) Bad night (797)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.

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  (847): I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed. http://tfl.nu/z7fq
  Replies (2) Good night (1356) Bad night (638)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options

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  (303): We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options http://tfl.nu/lflv
  Replies (12) Good night (1874) Bad night (418)
• Favorite

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.

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  (336): You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that. http://tfl.nu/r9t5
  Replies (7) Good night (573) Bad night (375)
• Favorite

  (515): View more from Iowa

  I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.

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  (515): I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion. http://tfl.nu/z0x4
  Replies (2) Good night (768) Bad night (263)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON

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  (610): BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON http://tfl.nu/ic7e
  Replies (17) Good night (1493) Bad night (327)
• Favorite

  (208): View more from Idaho

  We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.

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  (208): We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us. http://tfl.nu/uocw
  Replies (2) Good night (430) Bad night (360)
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off

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  (518): Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off http://tfl.nu/hbwx
  Replies (2) Good night (741) Bad night (254)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.

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  (425): Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch. http://tfl.nu/ml6b
  Replies (0) Good night (463) Bad night (238)
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?

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  (541): Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde? http://tfl.nu/3wcs
  Replies (5) Good night (385) Bad night (291)

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