dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
